As you might have guessed pretending to wash dishes doesn't actually get the dishes clean. Apply that logic to cleaning in general, add in a kid whose elaborate forts are slowly spilling over into multiple rooms and you'll have a pretty clear idea of the state of my house this past week. And it was in this state when the Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door Monday morning.
She didn't even bat an eye when I opened up the front door clearly unsuited for accepting visitors (I'm never suited for accepting visitors on a Monday morning, let's be honest. I moved out to the country where I thought that if I put up with snakes under the house and porcupines gnawing on my porch I would be excused from unexpected visitors. But apparently, NOPE). I was still unshowered and pajama clad. I hadn't yet changed out my smudged glasses for contacts. My oldest stood a mere five feet away from me yelling and crying as her sister very carefully and with great determination knocked over the fort the former had spent all morning creating. The dog threatened to knock me and the baby on my hip over in his excitement at having a new person at the door.
To her credit she was kind and cheerful. We chatted briefly about the divinity of the Bible and she was delighted to hear that my husband and I were youth leaders at our church (a fact I tried to slip in to perhaps hasten the end of the visit. Not entirely proud of this tactic, but it is what it is). There wasn't a single ounce of judgement on her face as she told me how the Bible can be applied to all sorts of areas in our daily lives ( a point I agree with, but how she got through the part about family upbringing without so much as a pointed glance at my fighting children is beyond me. I myself nearly tasted blood as I bit my cheeks to hold back laughter at the irony). She gave me a pamphlet and offered to come back another time when things weren't so "busy" (again, so sweet and kind. I really did like her. But see you never, if not "busy" is the prerequisite for entering this house), said goodbye and walked (ran? I don't blame her) back to her car.
To her credit she was kind and cheerful. We chatted briefly about the divinity of the Bible and she was delighted to hear that my husband and I were youth leaders at our church (a fact I tried to slip in to perhaps hasten the end of the visit. Not entirely proud of this tactic, but it is what it is). There wasn't a single ounce of judgement on her face as she told me how the Bible can be applied to all sorts of areas in our daily lives ( a point I agree with, but how she got through the part about family upbringing without so much as a pointed glance at my fighting children is beyond me. I myself nearly tasted blood as I bit my cheeks to hold back laughter at the irony). She gave me a pamphlet and offered to come back another time when things weren't so "busy" (again, so sweet and kind. I really did like her. But see you never, if not "busy" is the prerequisite for entering this house), said goodbye and walked (ran? I don't blame her) back to her car.
I don't doubt she'll be back. I'm not awesome at the clear cut "Thank you, but we're good" speech (just dropping unpicked up hints). Fingers crossed it's not in the next week. I just received an email notification that the Anne of Green Gables DVD I requested from the library is ready for pick up. Again, #priorities.
Emily, your posts are hilarious. I love reading your blog!
ReplyDeleteJenny (one of the Croissants :) )
That is so sweet--thank you, Jenny! Can't wait to see you!
ReplyDeleteI just popped over from the 30 Days of Hustle group. I love this post. We're doing Anne of Green Gables as a read-aloud, and I totally turned into a blubbering mess the other night when I read about Matthew's death to my kids and husband. Hubby almost had to take over, but my oldest insisted that it wasn't the same as mom reading it. :-)
ReplyDeleteI was listening to the audio book while I was getting ready when his death came. My husband walked into the bathroom to find me curling my hair and crying, haha.
DeleteThanks for reading, Mandi! I really appreciate it (loved your post, too!)