I want out of this period of waiting. Of not knowing what will happen or where our home will be. I want to feel settled. I want my heart to feel settled.
I want my husband to flourish. To have the passions of his heart realized.
I want my girls to see their parents chase impossible dreams and trust that God has his hand upon them. To be inspired to live free of the fear of the unknown.
I want to rest and be a place of rest.
I need to trust in the steadiness of God. To understand the difference between father and Father.
I need to actually be open to change as its happening, not just after its happened. To understand that going into something kicking and screaming is an exhausting way to live your life.
I need to expect things from myself that I expect from others.
I have a husband. A man so full of grace and mercy its impossible to be in a room with him and not get a little spilled on you. Who was the blessing that opened the door to all of the other blessings.
I have children. Babies who fill me up and break me open every day. Funny, beautiful, smart, loud, spunky girls who pull me out of myself and into life.
I have friends. Relationships that feed my soul. Found closeness in unexpected, but no less welcomed, places. Been trusted with the heartaches and joys of others.
I have love. So, so much love.